Next release: MARCH 15 | 4 PM EDT


It’s been 20 years since the release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (the movie version, that is). While our fav students and staff of Hogwarts have all moved on since then, our love for them hasn’t changed. We consider this month’s Geeky Astrology to be their 20-year school reunion.


Dobby standing and smiling


Pisces, you have this longing for a better life, for more wealth and for deep fulfillment. Although your love language is acts of service, we implore that you take care of yourself first. This world is too rough for a sweet soul like you – you deserve the best of what life can offer. Anything you dream of can be made possible, you’re Dobby for Pete’s sake!  


McGonnagal looking disapprovingly


Strong will, poise, and with a sharp tongue – these are the traits of an Aries in their final form. Each day you step into, you are greeted with respect and admiration for your achievements (as you should). Dissonance will be met with discipline should you see fit. Your world is what you make of it, and as an esteemed Professor it is your responsibility to teach the kids what’s what.  


Hagrid looking seriously at something in the distance


It’s the unwavering loyalty for us. As a Taurus in the Potterverse your role is to be the overbearing 15ft half-giant with a heart of gold and sensibility for good character. Your affinity for peculiar woodland creatures comes in handy when traversing the Forbidden Forest...although it is FORBIDDEN. The heart is where is the home is, and we’re right at home with you Hagrid!  


Sirius Black looking seriously at someone near him


A Gemini can have many traits: loyalty, bravery, passion, and wit. Sirius Black embodies all of these and more. A true Gryffindor at heart, he's shown time and time again that his dedication to his friends and loved ones is unrelenting. If you stick with him, consider yourself lucky- he'll always have your back till the end...


Molly Weasley smiling happily at someone


Molly Weasley is the epitome of not only a Gryffindor but a Cancer. She is fierce, loyal and loving. There is no question that she is a wonderful mother (arguably the best mother in the Harry Potter series) but she also has a huge heart and is devoted to her family and friends like a true Cancer!  


Lord Voldemort smiling wickedly with people surrounding him in the back


In true Leo fashion, Voldemort never fails to steal the spotlight and make himself the center of attention. Just like a Leo, when Voldemort enters a room, he makes it known to everyone. He is also extremely ambitious and driven. He will stop at nothing to become the most powerful evil wizard.  


Ron Weasley smiling meakly with a brown background


Ron Weasley may not be your typical Virgo but hear us out. Ron is humble, loyal and kind. Like a Virgo, Ron is a fiercely loyal and supportive friend to Hermione and Harry. He would go to great lengths to protect them and support them, especially when they are in danger. He is a great friend to have by your side!  


Remus, with scars across his face, looks concerned


As a Libra, you are known for being levelheaded, fair, compassionate, and intelligent. Remus Lupin definitely embodies all of those traits and more. He is always kind and fair to his students and extremely forgiving. He also always appears to be cool, calm, and collected like a true Libra.  


Severus Snape with his hand near his neck looking concerned


Scorpios are known for being a little intense with their emotions, especially when they are brooding or sulking. Sound like anyone you know in the Potterverse? Snape is a bit sour at times, sure, and he’s definitely intense, but he also cares deeply about a few key people in his life and he would do anything it takes to keep them happy and safe. Professor of the Dark Arts may have been his dream job, yes, but long before that role he earned another accolade: Scorpius Emeritus.


Hermione Granger looks pensively at a green jar of goo


Hermione Granger is many things—in fact, she’s as many things as one could possibly be. Everything Hermione is and does is just a temporary stepping stone on her way to knowing more, doing more, and being more. She’s relentless in her pursuit of knowledge and truth, and although she may appear a bit tentative when it comes to breaking the rules, she still does it every time to see where it leads. C’mon, this is Hermione Granger we are talking about—the girl who wanted to take so many classes she had to get time travel involved. If there’s a mountain, she’ll map out every inch so she can optimize her path to the top. We love a Sag who does their research.


Kreacher looks disgruntled and up at someone talking to him


Here’s the thing about Capricorns: if you are on their good side, they are dear and loyal friends who would move heaven and earth to help you out. If you’re not though, watch out. This is exactly the energy Kreacher brings to the table. He likes a few people and pretty much those few people only—the rest of the world experiences his other side: judgy, petty, downright mean sometimes, and definitely distrusting of authority. A little advice from us? Try not to get on a Capricorn’s bad side.


Lune Lovegood lifts her glasses up to look at someone


Did we even need to say this one? Luna is Aquarius embodied: no one understands a word she says, she has unusual fashion choices (necklace of Butterbeer caps, anyone?), and she does things entirely her own way. She doesn’t need other people to validate her own choices, either—she knows what she wants and she just goes and gets it.