June 17 - 19, 2022

Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center

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GEEKY ASTROLOGY

September Edition

It’s back-to-school season! One of the things that can really change your academic experience is finding the right teacher or mentor. So study up: we’ve selected the best fictional teacher for each zodiac sign in this month’s edition of Geeky Astrology.

SEPTEMBER READINGS

SCORPIO: Severus Snape

Professor Snape gets a bad rap—mostly because he is legitimately very hard on certain students and much easier on others. The secret? Get on his good side, dear Scorpio. You two have a lot in common—you're both very intense, for starters. Bring that same intensity to your potion-making studies and he’ll invest in you as a student, which will only open more doors for you later on.  

SAGITTARIUS: Indiana Jones

What Professor Jones lacks in the actual anthropology classroom environment, he makes up for in a more practical teaching style. Stow away on his next adventure and you’ll learn how to solve ancient mysteries, they key to spotting and avoiding traps, and maybe even how to survive a nuclear bomb explosion using only a refrigerator. We know you, dear Sagittarius, and we know that you like to get out there and get your hands dirty. There’s no better teacher for you than Indiana Jones.

CAPRICORN: Annalise Keating

Capricorn, has anyone ever described you as stubborn, passionate, brutally honest, or particular? Yeah, we thought so. You and Annalise Keating from How to Get Away with Murder are a match made in heaven. You two are a lot alike, which means that sometimes you will hate each other, sometimes you will like each other, but you will always be learning from each other. And Annalise Keating has a lot to teach, so listen very closely.

AQUARIUS: Ms. Frizzle

Ms. Frizzle’s teaching methods are… a bit unconventional. She dresses unlike anyone else, manages her classroom unlike anyone else, and takes her students on field trips that defy explanation. Aquarius, if you are down to be shooting through space on a Monday afternoon and then crawling through the human digestive tract on Tuesday morning, she’s going to make a great teacher for you.  

PISCES: Miss Honey

Honestly, wasn’t Miss Honey just the best? Like a true Pisces, she is sympathetic, kind and always there for Matilda. She is the sweetest and most patient teacher you could ask for. She even adopted Matilda just to give her a better life. We all need a Miss Honey in our lives!  

ARIES: Guy Sensei

Arguably, many of the characters in Naruto are Aries. Not exactly a show with a lot of controlled tempers! But for our money, if you’re looking for a good Aries teacher, Guy Sensei is your best bet. He’s competitive, loud, and passionate about being the best—and he’ll push you to be the best too.

TAURUS: Brock

Solid, consistent, disciplined. That’s Taurus, alright, and it’s also Brock. When you train rock Pokémon, it kind of comes with the territory. If you’re looking for structure and routine, plus the insights from being a gym leader, you have come to the right place.

GEMINI: Walter White

Like a Gemini, Walter White leads two very different lives. On the one hand, he is a family man and high school chemistry teacher. On the other, a drug dealer and killer. He is also amazing at what he does so if you’re looking for a great chemistry teacher, look no further!  

CANCER: Mr. Feeny

Dear Cancer, you deserve the best in a teacher, and it’s pretty much a fact at this point that Mr. Feeny is the best. Sure, he’s definitely a little cranky and out of touch with the modern world and pop culture, but beneath that curmudgeonly exterior is a man who cares deeply about his students and their well-being. Soak it up Cancer, because unlike Boy Meets World, a teacher this good can’t follow you throughout your life, so make this time with him count.

LEO: Aslan

Like a true Leo, Aslan is compassionate, strong and brave. He is a natural born leader and can teach you all about the Deep Magic. After all, he was there when it was written. Oh, and he’s quite literally a Lion, the animal that represents Leo. So, if you’re looking for a great Leo teacher, Aslan is the one!

VIRGO: Rupert Giles

Virgo, you already know why this one makes sense, right? You already sneak into libraries and reorganize the books that are out of place. Rupert Giles is many things, and most of those things revolve around being organized, detail-oriented, and a perfectionist. He won’t let you skip training and go out and hit the clubs on a Friday night, but let’s be very honest with each other: you wouldn’t have done that anyway. Study on!

LIBRA: Mr. Miyagi

Like a true Libra, Mr. Miyagi is reserved, fair, and wise, which is why he was a great teacher to Daniel. Mr. Miyagi always taught the importance of patience and hard work. His training may not be the most orthodox but remember to trust the process! Like Mr. Miyagi says, “First learn stand, then learn fly.”